"There are places I remember all my life..."

There are several events in my life that has molded me into the person I am now. Mistakes that I've committed, which gave me lessons that are not taught in schools. People that I've talked to, who shared with me their wisdom and knowledge. Friends, who influence me and encourage me to be the best I can be.

Among all of them, one of the most significant people in my life is my great grandmother, Dorothy. Every Sunday, we used to visit her humble house standing in an area near Banawe. Most of her children are married and have flown abroad, and she was often left alone with my grand aunts or the maids.

Her room was small and shady. In the middle of it, was her bed with its white sheets and floral printed pillowcases. She was aged and bedridden, although I didn't find it strange since I thought most old people liked to rest and lie in bed. My mother, being her favorite grandchild, would greet her with a gentle kiss on her cheek and would ask me to do the same.

After a lengthy conversation, my mother would leave me in her company for half an hour or so. At first, I was unsure how or what to do, until she called me by her side and telling me all sorts of fun stories. As we got to know each other better, we became more open and expressive of our personal ideas and thoughts. And slowly a bond developed between us.

When I was younger, my grandmother would sing Chinese songs to put me to sleep. In time, I've learned their tune and lyrics and being the "family singer", who never hesitates to perform in front of an audience, was asked to sing her a song. I stood proudly in front and began to belt out a familiar song with my tiny voice. She smiled and clapped loudly as I ended it and we were happy. This was how we spent our Sundays, in each others company, talking about school, laughing at jokes and singing songs we know.

One day, she asked me to sing with her our favorite song called "Mei Hwa". It is a Chinese song about China's national flower saying that it special, because unlike most flowers, it blooms only during wintertime. As I sang, she joined in and our voices seemed to blend as one. And when we exchanged goodbyes, I never thought that these would be the last words I'll ever hear from her lips and that we were to be torn apart...forever.

I was shocked when I found out she had passed away and that I will never see her again. My mother told me that due to her obsessive smoking of cigarettes, she developed lung cancer that was so severe; it cannot be cured. Although my mother tried to explain the situation to me as simple as she can, it still seemed too hard to swallow, too complex to understand, too painful to accept for I was only a five year old child then.

I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral, but I was able to watch it on tape. And that was my first heartbreak, and my first encounter with death.

I've learned how short life is and how time flies with winged feet and can never be retrieved. Because of this, I felt a need to do my best in my daily activities, regardless whether it is following an errand or passing a school project. I also became aware of the importance of our health in our lives. Promising myself that I will avoid any obsession that can endanger me or my family and friends. Lastly, but surely not least, this experience has become an eye opener to me of the existence of death and the eternal paradise it bridges. I am hopeful that when my life expires, I would be reunited with her soul in heaven, and together, we would sing hymns praising Our Heavenly Father.

*I've been cleaning up my computer files, when I came upon this essay. It was my essay I used to apply for Ateneo de Manila University, when I was in fourth year high. The question that I was to answer involves the significant event/person in my life and how much did that person affect me. I cannot really say how truthful this essay is, but it seemed good enough to make my mom cry.

** In addition to the three things I pointed out to have learned, I would like to add now, that life is short, and relationships are fragile. I've begun to appreciate that we should never take anyone for granted, for regret often follows - time, love and affections poorly spent and wasted.