Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Killing Me Softly

It is said that in life, there will always be new faces coming with some old ones fading into the oblivion of our minds. Sometimes we forget who we were. Sometimes we find ourselves reminiscing about the moments where everything seemed in place - when at that point in our past life, we know that that is not exactly the perspective we were taking. Sometimes we crave for those times to somehow revive and become part of our lives again - but of course, such could never be. We just have to keep moving on. We just have to keep living. But I don't think that means we just keep forgetting..

This entry is dedicated for all the people that have somehow touched my life in the past decades of my existence.. All who've came and gone, who've remembered and forgotten. I miss you all...

It's been months since we've had our mind boggling chatters. I miss the times when we were in school together debating about everything and anything, never seeming to lose any potential subject, never seeming to decide which side to take - but eventually we end up contradicting each other. I miss the times when I would ride in his car on my way home, making fun of it for its old fashioned quality, and yet equally gracious that it always manages to bring me home in time for my curfew. For the times, we'd scream our lungs out trying to belt out rock songs which are apparently out of our reach... For our stubborn arguements, knowing somebody would eventually give in anyway... I miss those times.

Ben's duo, the husky boy who I have few but meaningful conversations with. My fondest memory of him was running after me with a bucketful of water to throw on my head while we were hustling about during our teambuilding days. Those memories can never be recreated.. and I so wish they could be..

The jack-ass who keeps doing the stupidest stunts ever and still survives to brag about it. The pain-in-the-butt who always teases me until I want to pull all his hair off his head. The loud noisy boy who never seems to run out of the darnest and funniest things to say.. But also, the nice guy who brought me home in a taxi on my birthday with my birthday cake and flowers since it was already late at night - and was open enough to share his life stories. The "Crunch" guy.

The "Kinder" guy. My ultimate pre-mature college crush, the reason for my enthusiasm in staying in the organization hang-out areas, the reason why I became so boisterous and annoyingly green. I don't think I would've appreciated the organization as much had it not been for his dedication to the organization back when I was in first year college. I guess college life has never been the same since he graduated. There's barely anyone in the campus to crush on, especially now that I'm a senior - the stalking, kilig, happy-to-see-my-crush-make-my-day moments are gone.. and I miss those simple frustrations.

The loud mouth of Englicom who never seems to run out of blasphemously interesting tales and trivias, whose laugh resonates up to the second floor of our college building, who has molded many fine memories for me despite our lack of conversation. I miss the fat jolly man.

The Past Englicom Choir
The group of inspiring singers who has fulfilled the Fredian dream. No group could ever compare to your prowess as well as your noise and laughter.

My highschool best peer, who could spend afternoons after afternoons, tirelessly composing poems with me about our boring teachers, hesitantly following my pranks, throwing chalks at people from the quadrangle balcony, writing codes with me - which only the two of us could understand, playing boy games with her excelling so much. I miss being unique and accepted - something I could only feel when we're together with our unbridled creativity. After college, communication was breached.. so sad..

The Edge man who always is willing to help me out when I need some aid. The first guy ever who managed to carry me like some King Kong muscleman. The cute guy who I could never imagine to have turned down. The "dick-kicker" who comes up with all the quotable quotes that always makes anyone who copies it sound intellectually cool or unforgivably dumb. Things are not the same since graduation.

Reagan "Boogan"
The sweet guy who could never find the right girl. The constant searcher with a new flower in perspective per week. The guy who taught me most of the "moves" and sweet chatter. The guy who I have always laughed at for being nerve wreckingly immature, and has the temper to match my own. The guy who I constantly teased and I think has not forgiven me up to this very day. Parting ways, sometimes though kiddingly seems to make my life a lot more quiet, is still heartbreaking, knowing that one day we may never recognize each other again.

Christine aka. Chrimi
The lesbian magnet. The one who makes up the boldest pranks and gets away with them. The one who greeted me on my first day of class with a friendly, "Hello classmate!" The one who has taught me the pleasures of Christina Aguilera's voice in contrast with Britney Spears'. The outrageous freak in our group. I miss you.

The groove maker of our high school group - constantly making up the weirdest gimiks that keeps us all wacky with folly. The "Precious" who received anonymous love letters in white pad papers - keeping them so tenderly unknowing that it was one of our stupid jokes. The one who always gets locked inside the classrooms with a "force" prohibiting us to assist her in any manner. The patient victim who always ends up laughing rather than angry at our insensitive immaturity. I miss this girl so.

I know there are so many more people I'd like to list down and mention.. How much memories they've created with me, and how troubling it is to think that we've no longer seen each other for quite a period.

For all those people... I miss you all so much...


At 2:32 AM, Blogger Tanis said...

Though all friendships don't last forever, there memory does. Our lives are constantly changing and unfortantly so are the friends we have.
Excellent post, as I was reading it I was remembering past friend....

At 7:36 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Wow, Tanis is here too?? Anywayz, thanks for the touching write-up (or whatever you call it). It is a fact of life - and a painful one at that - that it is full of change. We can keep hanging on to the things we used to love, or we can move on and look forward to what the future brings. I know this may sound like something out of a book or a movie, but having experienced it myself, I know it all too well. I've gone from collegeman to blissfully employed to depressingly unemployed, the changes are big, your daily routine suddenly changes. Even sa Englicom, things change... I don't feel as enthusiastic about it now than I did before, but that's only because the officers now are strangers to me... and as long as the people in positions in Englicom changes, the feelings of older generations will wane as well. You'll know what I mean when you graduate and a lower batch invites you to attend an activity where you only know a handful of officers. The best we can do is cherish the memories of the people who've touched us and also keep in touch with them. My "best friend" hasn't texted me since March, and now I'm not sure if I can still consider her as a best friend because of the lack of communication...

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Ben said...

... That's just an example (it may seem shallow but she hasn't texted a single quote or greeting for months even before March). Basically, people become busy when they start working, and keeping in touch becomes that much harder. Also, groups tend to form and they more or less stick with each other... and alienates other groups. Differences become that much more pronounced and it's really harder to relate to people you were once close with. Well... that's just my two cents on this thing... (or maybe twenty cents considering how long this is). Anywayz, miss ya too... Glad the memories we had are still important to you, that means a lot.

At 10:21 PM, Blogger chris said...

awww...almost cried...:( miss ko nadin cla chrimi and hei-yung...sana makumpleto na tayo ulit.it's been years since nabuo talaga tayo..:(

At 10:14 PM, Blogger jourdy^_^ said...

englicom choir!!!

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Katrina said...

Thanks guys... sometimes it just feels like everything keeps on changing, everybody has to keep up with the pace.. it's plain old stress.. but one we have to deal with.. every single one of us..

change is good because without it things will stagnate and bore - i guess, the good things don't always last (not that the bad things do...)

At 4:25 PM, Blogger jEnn said...

"the tide of time is harsh and strong..
but memories stay, no matter how long.."

love your entry babe!! must have taken sometime to gather it up, and to pen it down in cyber world..

a lady in the making..
you rock babe!! (^__^)


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