Just a Little Esteem Bash

This is one of my dearest friends, Christel. Yes, she is a model. I never believed that one day it would come to this, that I would actually admit envying her for her beauty and charms.

I was running my friendster account when I saw hers, and it struck me.. damn, models have all the luck to get all dressed up in outlandish and out of the world costumes, get to act and pose in all sorts of unnatural manners and still look aesthetically pleasing without compromising their integrity as a person.
I am not saying that they have an easy job though, but sometimes it goes all the way to my envy bone - hits me real hard and tells me.. why can't you be like that, and I'd have to admit to myself that I am not as pretty as the standard imposes, I am not as charming nor as "thin" that would suit the tastes of designers. I am simply myself and that is all I could truly be proud of. (and yet, I envy her getting all dressed up.. I want to get all dressed up as well and act all weird and get my pictures plastered everywhere - as well as the fact that boys have been crazy about her since elementary and I couldn't even get anyone to like me as much until late college..)

I understand that this self esteem bash is completely elementary and typical, quite immature to a certain degree for why do I need to recreate myself or batter myself into becoming something I am not and most likely cannot become. Why cannot I appreciate myself wholly as most people say we should.. on the other hand, isn't it possible that whoever created the "be happy for who you are" is trying to compensate for his own insecurities as well? I am torn in between two beliefs, pivoting between them. The "why-can't-i" and the "be-happy-for-who-you-are", I believe these are day-to-day circumstances everybody experiences and needs to deal with.. but there's nothing wrong in dreaming and hoping... right?

"Don Underscore Q" Logging In..

Saturday. 3 pm. PETA Theatre. Don_Q.

Last Saturday, I was very priviledged to have found a ticket to Peta's performance. The theatre is a jeepney ride away from our house which was rather convenient for me. The play was a modern translation of Don Quixote's pivot between sanity and derangement.

Interestingly, the playground of the said performance primarily revolves around an online game where a teenage boy's life becomes intertwined with the different cyber personalities he comes into contact with - all fo which are people breaking from reality - carrying a part of himself, as well as a creation of himself. In that cyber reality breeds forth a newer sense of role playing wherein the reality there beckons a return to the truer reality - and the facing of such. The understanding that the temporary power of the game cannot extend to the world beyond the computer and that responsibilities must be met, duties must be performed, lives must be led.

Potions, weapons, skills - lahat libre... was the dying note of the said performance - a saying that in life, all these "level-ups" are possible to gain - it is simply a question of perspective, a question of diligence in it's attainment, a question of dedication and willingness.

I was stunned that despite the lack of a script, despite the fact that they were simply making up stuff, the actors were brilliant and entertaining. In fact, as an end note, we, the audience, were given an opportunity to address the actors (forum) and were even asked if we were interested in taking part of the said performance - only come an hour earlier in a cosplay costume for briefing.

Rating?? 4.8 Stars over 5.

The concept was brilliantly conceived, acting was outstanding, although there are split second moments of awkwardness for lack of conversation or overlapping of it..

Tic Tacs

During the long weekend, I got to refix my table - more specifically the contents of my desk drawers. And I am very happy the way everything is all clean and organized just the way it was before. (Okay, it's kinda weird for a total slob to say that..) I still have a couple more "homeless" things lying on top of it as can be seen, but I hope they'd be adopted in their appropriate boxes soon. As I said earlier, I will post a picture of it here.. (at the same time, to freeze that rare image of my table able to actually look worthier than just be a dumping area for my crap).

I'm just so happy it's all cleared up! :)


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Anyways, I've also been sketching. I couldn't upload em in my deviantart yet since I haven't got the chance to scan them. I simply took a picture of my work and slapped it in my USB to show it off here... (as if there's something to show off!)

I know this is a really bad sketch considering that the arms and the torso are grotesquely unproportioned and awkwardly positioned. But if it helps to mention, I just copied this from one of my old Chinese magazines in order to learn how to draw dragons. Oh well, I think it's okay, although it resembles a tapeworm at some point.

I asked my friend, Masi, to draw me a frog. I really can't say why I was craving for a frog at that particular day. He found me odd that I hated erasures even when we're already using pencils. Oh well. This is our creation, his is the frog.. Mine is it's tattoo.

This particular sketch was inspired by Charley's sister's Phoenix. I wasn't really intending my work to come out this way (as do all my work..). I was blindly following my impulses when it began to take form into this and eventually I decided to go with the phoenix theme as well.

A Week Has Passed...

It's been over a week since Milenyo has devastated the capital urban dimension of the Philippines. The super-typhoon, as they call it, has deprived many the many modern luxuries as electricity and free flowing water. Even the telephone line, for some have been temporarily cut off. Many have been victims to the said typhoon, not to mention the many who have been injured, left homeless and even killed. They say that there had not been a calamity as destructive as this for over a decade (then, perhaps it's about time?).

In order to illustrate the strength of the said typhoon (although not at it's very peak), I caught a short video with my digicam in our garden. It doesn't have sounds and looks very amateur, but I still believe it is something worth remembering.

Here are some of the pix I got when it was raining.. Nothing special though. Didn't even look like it was raining. :(







To avoid boredom, I practically spent the whole day at home with my siblings, curiously reviving my childhood passion of coloring books. Fortunately though, unlike so many of my other peers, our power returned by nightfall and thus we were not among the ones who spent days in hot, sweaty, unlighted rooms. I guess, this is the time we have to give a real plaque of appreciation for both Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison in our minds for their wonderful contribution to technology and advancement.