All Men Are Jerks... Until Proven Otherwise

Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel.
William Thackeray (1811-1863), Henry Esmond

After almost three years of waiting, my friend has finally returned my book to me. "All Men Are Jerks... Until Proven Otherwise" was a book I pestered my mom into buying for me when I was in second year high. High school was, for most, the time of rebellion against the common norms of being in a relationship with a guy or perhaps simply sourgraping over the fact that nobody would care to notice her. This book has managed to capture my attention for the simple need of being noticed as one of those deviants. As expected, it caused many of my guyfriends to react violently upon reading the intial title and not bothering to read the disclaimer at the bottom.

I never believed this book would be of great assistance to me in the future since I am not particularly inclined into believing that my life or my decisions ought to be based primarily on the fickle biases of a bitter woman who tries to masquerade a whole independence against the opposite sex. Although she notes many good information as "women create the jerks they complain about" and that women ought to be willing to set up for a disappointment since men will be men and all such observations, I am still skeptical over her overall approach or of what she really wants to convey. It is an interesting read though since there are quite a number of juicy hearsays and rumors about the dramas of other women's lives. And if you need some reminders, especially when your man is not exactly the ideal mirror of your prince charming, and you crave that surge of GIRL POWER YEAH, then I guess this may be the book for you.

Soldier, Soldier Will You Marry Me?

It's already been a year since my cousin in the US got married. She is barely a year older than I am which apparently disturbed many of my relatives. She eloped on the 30th of June through civil marriage - almost the same time my aunt, my mom's and her dad's sister got married. The shock didn't really sink in as deeply as it has now, now that I've got the time to check out her myspace account and get to watch her wedding slideshow. I got kinda emo watching her take her vow and the thought "damn, she's married.. so young." I find it quite weird to see her jump from being independent little me into a duo - the transition of being a single into a married.. a girlfriend into a wife - the jump is mind rattling to me.

Now, she's one of those brave heroic brides waiting for her soldier to come home from Afghanistan.

What Happened?

I should be ashamed of myself. White lies.

My groupmate burned me a copy of his interview so I could transcribe it for our report. So, I placed the CD inside the CD driver. Whirring sounds. Something's wrong, the computer can't read the CD. Try again. Whirring sounds. Still nothing. When I finally opened the CD driver, I find the CD snapped into half.

Horrified, I called my groupmate up to tell him the CD he gave me isn't working..

I Hunger!!!

It's close to midnight and cannot articulate the growling sensation rumbling within my abdominal area. I think I am hungry again despite a good dinner and for some reason I am craving for Java rice. I can't make any especially at this time of the night since I intend to sleep in a few more minutes and eating heavy carbos will eventually take it's toll as what happened to me today described in my I Think I Misplaced My Intestines entry.

Thus in order to somehow alleviate my hunger, I will just type down my version of the simple recipe as I've evolved it into my own - although I am pretty sure other establishments may be using a similar recipe for their rice. I cannot be held responsible should we share different tastes - a warning be that my taste is often associated with "weirdness" (eq. peanut butter and ma-hu), although my mom and siblings love my whatever my Java and fried rice - that is, if I cook it. haha. Btw, Java rice is best served with barbeque dishes. Gawd, I'm hungry..

Java Rice

Ingredients:
1/4 kilo ground pork
1/3 unsalted butter
5 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1/3 cup catsup
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 bell pepper, chopped (optional)
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 tsp pepper
6 cups of cooked rice
1 chopped chilli pepper (optional)
Curry powder (recommended but optional, to taste)
Crushed oregano and/or basil leaves
Salt and pepper to taste

Procedure:
1. Melt butter in frying pan. Add the ground pork and cook until there’s no longer the pinkish color. Add the garlic.
2. In a bowl, mix sugar, soy sauce and catsup. Mix. When garlic in (1) is lightly toasted, add in the mixture.
3. Add the bell pepper, the herbs, curry powder and chili peppers (optional). Mix.
4. Wait until the mixture simmers.
5. Add rice, toss.
6. Season with salt and pepper to taste. More pepper for me.. wink wink.

Ideas:
Ground pork could be substituted with ground beef, which has more flavor. (I usually use the ground meat leftover from our morning tacos since they cook them with taco mix which kinda tastes pepper laden)
Beef stock could be used in cooking the rice.

*Faints in utter hunger.. Thud!!

It Is Apparent How Bored I Am

Having not yet unsubscribed from my Gender's class yahoogroups, I have the advantage of receiving the classes' lessons and agendas. It turns out that my ex-professor was giving her students an Enneagram Psychological Test - which, after I researched in the net, is aimed in determining one's driving motivations in decision making, which is divided into 9 kinds - the reformer, the helper, the motivator, the romantic, the thinker, the skeptic, the enthusiast, the leader and the peacemaker.

I took the test provided by this link, and garnered the following results.

I scored a 10 for Romantic, a 6 for Motivator and the thinker with a 3. The rest of the spectrum proves to be negative with the reformer and the peacemaker being the lowest scores of negative 9.

This is the analysis of my top 2 highest drivers:

The Romantic (the Four)
Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me
Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like Being a Four
My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
My ability to establish warm connections with people
Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
My creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
Being unique and being seen as unique by others
Having aesthetic sensibilities
Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four
Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
Feeling guilty when I disappoint people
Feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
Expecting too much from myself and life
Fearing being abandoned
Obsessing over resentments
Longing for what I don't have

Fours as Children Often
Have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
Are very sensitive
Feel that they don't fit in
Believe they are missing something that other people have
Attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
Become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
Feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Fours as Parents
Help their children become who they really are
Support their children's creativity and originality
Are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
Are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
Are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

The Achiever (the Three)
Achivers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.

How to Get Along with Me
Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
Don't burden me with negative emotions.
Tell me you like being around me.
Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a Three
Being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
Providing well for my family
Being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
Staying informed, knowing what's going on
Being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
Being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a Three
Having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
The fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful
Comparing myself to people who do things better
Struggling to hang on to my success
Putting on facades in order to impress people
Always being "on." It's exhausting.

Threes as Children Often
Work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
Are well liked by other children and by adults
Are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
Are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

Threes as Parents
Are consistent, dependable, and loyal
Struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
Expect their children to be responsible and organized

Source:
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages


NOTES:
And I'm taggin the equally bored plus.. Jenn, Tanis, Jourdan, Paulo and Hazel.

Yadidahs

Yesterday was the 22nd Litaw (Literary Awards) Awarding Ceremony and guess what? In my second year of participating, I still haven't won.

Last chance. Submitted an entry in English poetry - apparently my works weren't cut out to receive the award. Nobody won in the category I submitted into which seems worse since judges have the option of not giving any awards should they deem that none of the entries deserve the honor of being awarded.

Back to my own little fanclub. hehe..

Matakot Ka Sa Karma

The Karma Test
How Much Do You Have?

Katrina, in the last year you've earned 805 karma points.

You've earned these points by doing good things, therefore allowing good things to circle back to you. There are 6 different ways people earn karma, and by looking at your responses to this test, we can tell that your caring nature is earning you the most karma.

You seem to be one of those people who has an uncanny ability to anticipate and meet the needs of others around you. This nurturing quality has helped you earn your karma up to this point. Your thoughtfulness strengthens your current relationships, and suggests that such kindnesses will be repaid to you some time in the future. Through your concerted efforts to express how much you care, you generate good karma for yourself and the universe.

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I found the Karma Test from Tanis' blog, for those who wants to try it for themselves, click here.

Two Left Feet and An Eye for Envy

Last Thursday, I rushed out of my 6.00-7.30 class to the Teresa Yuchengco Auditorium of our University to watch DanzDish with Jourdan, Marie and Maude. Danzdish is the 10th year anniversary celebration of the Lasalle Dance Troop. As I watched the performers distort their bodies into all sorts of shapes which seemingly sounds well synchronized to the beat of their music, I couldn't help but feel a bit of envy that my body is not as flexible or expressive as theirs.

This feeling was further emphasized when I got home and caught my sibling all watching Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats - which was worse.. they're both singing and dancing beautifully.

Now, I am deeply contemplating.. "I think I need dance lessons".

Twist Turn and Zip... Making My Own Sign

Dumb little me. I think I misplaced my I-bank passbook and thus could not make any banking transactions. It occured to me to close my current account and apply for a new one especially since should my old passbook be found by some good soul who proves to be quite negligent in returning it and even would have the nerve of withdrawing my savings, I'll be in real deep fertilizer - with a grave consideration of my signature being relatively easy to replicate.

Our secretary suggested that I make a new signature that would be appropriate for formal business transactions. I had been very accustomed to my previous signature that I was quite hesitant in replacing it, but eventually I agreed. I was not in an inspired mood and thus requested my grandmother to aid me in designing a new "mark" for myself. After she demonstrated many potential signatures, I ended up copying one of hers using my penmanship which inevitably gives it my personal touch. On the other hand, I've practiced it with over 10 pages of paper and still couldn't standardize the signature - I still make mistakes in making the sign. This sort of exercise reminds me of my Chinese tutors who make me rewrite my mistakes 100x.. Hopefully I'd have perfected the signature in a couple of days so I can push through with my reapplication on Monday..

I Think I Misplaced My Intestines

Today is the much-awaited Il Divo In Manila Concert. Yes, dear hottie Carlo came all the way to the Philippines for my birthday - unfortunately I couldn't afford the concert tickets so my best resort is just to imagine myself sitting in the front seats of the theatre getting goosebumps as they begin to belt out their beautiful music and as Carlos would sing his sultry baritone parts. Okay.. I know I'm missing alot.. boo-hoo..

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On the other hand.. lesson learned - never wear a size 28 pair of slacks for the whole day when you know you're 2 to 4 inches bigger!

I spent the whole day at school attending the Business and Economics Conference yawning all the way so I can get enough oxygen to fill in my lungs, kept shifting my position since the pants was apparently uncomfortable and I had to keep myself mum while sacrificing a whole day belly in - now I have a vague notion why Ms. Pirates of the Carribean "hate corsets".

Touch Me Not.. I am Chaste

I have complied once again to the yearly physical examination and was subjected to the many tortures the university is capable of bestowing upon its students. The worst of the series of scrutiny is the breast examination wherein a female doctor would be able to touch you with her cold hands - it is undeniably the most uncomfortable part of the annual physical report. It was a futile attempt to control my laughter that I feel the doctor also realized her failure to provide me with her gentlest touch thus i felt the need to apologize unceasingly after the exam.

Contrary to what I've feared, my eyesight still remains a boastful 20-20, a feature I thought was diminished after a daily grave dosage of computer radiation and poor lightings. During the past few weeks, I strained myself trying to read words from afar and thus dawned upon me, that it was physically impossible for me to do so - and thus this paranoia of a failing eye sight haunted me night after night until this fateful examination. Thank goodness.

Faiiiiiy......nalllllY

After almost two weeks of being unable to access blogger.. Internet connection's down due to the Dec 26 earthquake in Taiwan and it pissed the whole international communications system. Having so much to be said, now that I am facing this stupid textbox, I am completely at a lost of words - or is it simply because I feel like cursing out loud for having been made to wait so long just to be able type down my current events. It was simply frustrating, having not blogged for a long time and wanting to blog and blogger just won't friggin work!

This being the last day of nineteen year old-hood, I believe I am going to rant my heart out about what happened a couple of weeks ago which still has caught me shocked. I wanted to record it sooner but stupid earthquake prevented me from doing so. Pardon me should I be using any offensive terms. I am just feeling pissy at the moment.

Dec 27, 2006
I was completely dumbfounded when my dad asked me the queerest question ever. It was my grandfather's birthday and the family decided to eat out at Steak House. Mom and my siblings were away in Baguio for some scouting jamboree thus I had to just share the room with my dad. Just me and him.

My grandparents wanted to show off the sizzling plates to my aunt's foreigner husband (honestly, they treat this guy like anything.. we had buffets left and right in honor of this guest.. even kept praising Europeans as if they are of cultured, disciplined faultless beings) The restaurant offering a drink-all-you-can promo, I grabbed the opportunity. Drink drink drink.. Eat eat eat. When I got home, I started experiencing reflux. For those who don't know what reflux is - it's when food goes back through one's esophagus and into one's mouth. So I spit it out. Dad sees me doing that and gets concerned.. comes up to me and ask...

Dad - Be honest with me. Are you pregnant?
Me - No!! Hell no. What would make you say that?
Dad - You're throwing up.
Me - I drank alot, that's why my food runs up my throat and I just spit it out.
Dad - Pregnancy does that.
Me - It's in the middle of the night. Throwing up is morning sickness right.
Dad - I don't care. Tell me, are you pregnant or not?
Me - No!! I just had my menstruation..
Dad - (hesitantly) okay..

Damn it, I felt so uncomfortable with my dad the whole night, even today I still feel uneasy around his presence. I don't even have a tangible relationship with a guy, and here dad is suspecting me of throwing away my viriginity.. Uggghh!!! His lack of trust really pisses me off!..